Volume 116 Issue 8

Humor

How to Get StuyFit on Zero Workout Time

This satirical guide explains how minimal effort during the school day can keep you fit at Stuy—no extra time required.

Arts and Entertainment

Dispatch (2025): Your Choices Matter

Dispatch (2025) is incredibly compelling, full of puzzles and hard choices.

Arts and Entertainment

Lil Yachty, Bowery, and a Room That Won’t Explain Itself

Lil Yachty and Olaolu Slawn use speed, familiarity, and discomfort to force observation to remain active and unresolved.

Features

The Four Letters I Keep Repeating

My four-letter name has never been long, yet somehow it’s always been too unfamiliar for the world to say without stumbling.

Features

Discovering Myself One Page at a Time

My reading ability has been one of my superpowers for as long as I can remember. It’s shaped me as a person and has deeply affected my outlook on life. No matter how simplistic reading might be, it truly does resonate with me.

Features

In His Element: Douglas Zhu

AP Chemistry teacher and alumnus Douglas Zhu reflects on his unexpected return to the classroom and his childhood.

Humor

Santa Claus is NOT Coming to Town This Year

Santa Claus is being replaced with an AI robot

Humor

How well could Stuyvesant defend a Bastion Fort?

How effectively could the entirety of Stuyvesant High School’s student body successfully defend a bastion fort in the Eighty Years’ War?

Humor

The Alpha-Ntastical Effects of Being a Huzz Magnet

A friend’s perspective of Y/N’s problem-filled life as a huzz magnet.

Sports

Forging the Spartans: Boys’ Wrestling Rebuilds for the New Season

As the Spartans adjust to a tougher division and an inexperienced roster, the season has become a test of whether individual achievements and accelerated training can compensate for limited varsity experience.

Humor

What Lies Between the Cracks: An Investigation of the Pooping Perp

A detailed investigative report of the Fugitive Flatulator.

News

Stuyvesant’s Moot Court Team is Top Team in Manhattan

Stuyvesant’s Moot Court Team competed at Fordham Law School, placing as semifinalists and ranked the number one school team in Manhattan on November 17. Art/Photo Request: Picture of team

News

The Price Point Issue 8, Vol. 116

The Price Point is a series written by News Editor Brendan Tan, covering recent economic events and providing Stuyvesant students with an easy understanding of critical economics concepts that affect our day-to-day lives.

Opinions

Tax Elite Colleges

Elite colleges have thrived with federal subsidies and tax breaks while public universities face continued budget cuts.

Opinions

True Luxury Comes in the Mail


Rewards credit cards are quickly redefining how consumers access travel and luxury experiences, allowing for more access to luxury experiences however they aren’t fully equitable and require users to do proper research to find the best fits.

Opinions

Reimagining Grand Army Plaza

Brooklyn’s Grand Army Plaza redesign must be supported in order to prioritize pedestrian safety and restore its original glory.

Science

Tiny Carbon Balls With Big Potential: The Uses of Fullerenes

Fullerenes demonstrate broad potential– their unique properties allow them to function as important tools in antiviral treatment, cancer therapy, medical imaging, and sports equipment.

Science

The Science Behind Hot Chocolate

The chemistry and structure of cocoa create a smooth and rich flavor, making hot chocolate the perfect cozy treat after a long school day.

Sports

Inside the Storm

Meet Kobe Lee, small forward of the Stuyvesant varsity basketball team, the Storm!

Sports

NFL MVP Race

Discussing MVP candidates and who deserves to win it.

Humor

New York City Mayoral Candidates - Where Are They Now?

Where have the NYC 2025 mayoral candidates been since the election?

Humor

How to Get StuyFit on Zero Workout Time

This satirical guide explains how minimal effort during the school day can keep you fit at Stuy—no extra time required.

Arts and Entertainment

Bassvictim: Testing Forms in Forever

Bassvictim’s Forever explores the band’s sound after the after-parties.

Arts and Entertainment

Dispatch (2025): Your Choices Matter

Dispatch (2025) is incredibly compelling, full of puzzles and hard choices.

Arts and Entertainment

Waiting for the Impossible Resolution

In It Was Just An Accident, Jafar Panahi spins an existential web around one man’s metal leg.

Arts and Entertainment

Lil Yachty, Bowery, and a Room That Won’t Explain Itself

Lil Yachty and Olaolu Slawn use speed, familiarity, and discomfort to force observation to remain active and unresolved.

Arts and Entertainment

Not Quite For The Better – Wicked: For Good

Wicked: For Good was error-ridden, but it’s still a fun time.

Features

Investigating ARISTA’s New Policies and Perspectives

Students reflect on their experiences and new policies in ARISTA, Stuyvesant’s honor society.

Features

The Four Letters I Keep Repeating

My four-letter name has never been long, yet somehow it’s always been too unfamiliar for the world to say without stumbling.

Features

Discovering Myself One Page at a Time

My reading ability has been one of my superpowers for as long as I can remember. It’s shaped me as a person and has deeply affected my outlook on life. No matter how simplistic reading might be, it truly does resonate with me.

Features

In His Element: Douglas Zhu

AP Chemistry teacher and alumnus Douglas Zhu reflects on his unexpected return to the classroom and his childhood.

Humor

Santa Claus is NOT Coming to Town This Year

Santa Claus is being replaced with an AI robot

Humor

How well could Stuyvesant defend a Bastion Fort?

How effectively could the entirety of Stuyvesant High School’s student body successfully defend a bastion fort in the Eighty Years’ War?

Humor

The Alpha-Ntastical Effects of Being a Huzz Magnet

A friend’s perspective of Y/N’s problem-filled life as a huzz magnet.

Sports

Forging the Spartans: Boys’ Wrestling Rebuilds for the New Season

As the Spartans adjust to a tougher division and an inexperienced roster, the season has become a test of whether individual achievements and accelerated training can compensate for limited varsity experience.

Humor

What Lies Between the Cracks: An Investigation of the Pooping Perp

A detailed investigative report of the Fugitive Flatulator.

News

Stuyvesant’s Moot Court Team is Top Team in Manhattan

Stuyvesant’s Moot Court Team competed at Fordham Law School, placing as semifinalists and ranked the number one school team in Manhattan on November 17. Art/Photo Request: Picture of team

News

The Price Point Issue 8, Vol. 116

The Price Point is a series written by News Editor Brendan Tan, covering recent economic events and providing Stuyvesant students with an easy understanding of critical economics concepts that affect our day-to-day lives.

Opinions

Tax Elite Colleges

Elite colleges have thrived with federal subsidies and tax breaks while public universities face continued budget cuts.

Opinions

True Luxury Comes in the Mail


Rewards credit cards are quickly redefining how consumers access travel and luxury experiences, allowing for more access to luxury experiences however they aren’t fully equitable and require users to do proper research to find the best fits.

Opinions

Reimagining Grand Army Plaza

Brooklyn’s Grand Army Plaza redesign must be supported in order to prioritize pedestrian safety and restore its original glory.

Opinions

Marjorie Taylor Greene’s Resignation: A Republican Mess

Marjorie Taylor Greene’s resignation, though seemingly formidable and a catalyst for downfall, does not necessarily imply all that it foreshadows.

Science

The Final Burn: Decommissioning the International Space Station

Plagued by structural decay and unsustainable costs, the aging ISS presents an enormous engineering challenge to scientists and engineers aiming to safely deorbit the station.

Science

Tiny Carbon Balls With Big Potential: The Uses of Fullerenes

Fullerenes demonstrate broad potential– their unique properties allow them to function as important tools in antiviral treatment, cancer therapy, medical imaging, and sports equipment.

Science

The Science Behind Hot Chocolate

The chemistry and structure of cocoa create a smooth and rich flavor, making hot chocolate the perfect cozy treat after a long school day.

Science

Quantum Biology: How Quantum Mechanics May Help Birds Migrate

The mechanism of magnetoreception is used by birds to migrate during the seasons, revealing a surprising intersection between biology, chemistry, and quantum physics.

Sports

Inside the Storm

Meet Kobe Lee, small forward of the Stuyvesant varsity basketball team, the Storm!

Sports

NFL MVP Race

Discussing MVP candidates and who deserves to win it.