Humor

BREAKING NEWS: Chambers Street McDonald’s Tariffs All Local Halal Carts

Here’s what to know about the hottest culinary trade war since MasterChef.

Amerification

The latest cultural trend taking the nation by storm.

Have a Laugh, Public Pests Are on Display!

Public punishments for public annoyances recently appeared in Central Park.

The Tissue Wars

The Tissues have declared war on the Humans for “years of snotty abuse.”

We the People of the Games Department

Games has just declared independence from Humor. Here’s how it went down.

How to Relax All Summer and Still Sound Impressive on Paper

This satirical piece offers creative ways to enjoy a real summer break without sacrificing their resumes.

How Does The Spectator Humor Department Write Its Articles?

Come find out how Spectator Humor writes their amazing articles.

The First Playtest of Chess 2 Just Took Place, and the Results are in

Feedback from a playtest of Chess 2

What to do over the summer to not get into college

Horrible ways to spend your summer

Junioritis Outbreak Devastates High Schools; CDC Alarmed

CDC researchers are investigating a rapidly spreading outbreak of “Junioritis,” a condition causing severe burnout and apathy among high school juniors.

The Five-and-A-Halfth Floor

Exposé discovering secrets of the five-and-a-halfth floor.

Dear Future Self…

An apology letter to my future self, listing experiencing minor inconveniences as a result of past actions.

New AP Classes Officially Unveiled

New AP courses have arrived at Stuy, but are they any good?

How to Know if You’re Choosing the Right APs and Electives (for Freshmen, Sophomores, and Half of a Junior)

A personality test to help choose your APs/Electives, based on unrealistic theoretical events/questions.

Bridge Troll Gobbles Up Freshmen

The Tribeca Bridge becomes occupied by a freshman-eating troll.

The (Near) Destruction of Mercury

A United Planets emergency meeting has been called to discuss the impending doom of Mercury

Mayor Mamdani Releases New Revolutionary Safety Plan

New York City’s new, cartoonish safety plan to lower crime rates.

The Dark Truth about Harvard University

Harvard University is a dream school for many, but its actual purpose is more alien than anybody could ever imagine.

Why is the 7-9 Escalator Always Broken?!

A question that’s been asked since the dawn of time (start of the school year).

Escalator Breakdowns: Let’s Break it Down

The escalators are frequently found to be broken, but recent events point to internal sabotage.

My Stuyvesant Love Life (Gender Neutral Reader)

Y/N, who is hoping to focus on their studies at school, suddenly meets some guys that might change everything!

What if Countries Could Talk to Each Other in WWII?

Waffles and World War Two.

Government Bans Humor in Schools

The DOE implements yet another ban, now on… humor?

The Truth Behind Phone Confiscation

A totally fake story about a totally real scandal that leaves the Dean’s Office scathed with controversy.

Robots In War? The Empirics.

There’s been a lot of hype about AI, but can it really stand up to the pressures of war?

Wealthcraft!

Guy marries rich guy to become rich.

When Life Gives You Spring Breaks

Giving highly unrealistic advice to students on what to do over spring break to show that maybe high school isn’t that serious!

Hear Me Out… Some Crumbs of Potential SING! Ideas

From a list of dozens of theme ideas generated under the influence of distilled powdered Celsius, we narrowed down the top two.

Planet Stuy: The Admissions Officer

Join us as we discover the secret lives of the masters of the education system—the admissions officers.

Pregaming Stuyvesant

A prefreshie visits Stuyvesant for the first time during the Spring Open House—only to find himself amidst a bewildering mix of confusing tests, bizarre assignments, and extraordinary upperclassmen pranks that leaves him questioning reality.

Stuyvesant High School Converts to Stuyvesant Data Center

Stuyvesant is getting replaced by an all-new data center, affecting not only the school but also the rest of Tribeca.

How to Relax All Summer and Still Sound Impressive on Paper

This satirical piece offers creative ways to enjoy a real summer break without sacrificing their resumes.

How Does The Spectator Humor Department Write Its Articles?

Come find out how Spectator Humor writes their amazing articles.

The First Playtest of Chess 2 Just Took Place, and the Results are in

Feedback from a playtest of Chess 2

What to do over the summer to not get into college

Horrible ways to spend your summer

Five Magnificent Things to Do When You’re at Summer Camp

Are you about to spend a majority of your time at summer camp somewhere upstate, in North Dakota, or literally anywhere in the world? Fear not, because this article provides five extremely fun activities to do in the wild, wild outdoors!

Junioritis Outbreak Devastates High Schools; CDC Alarmed

CDC researchers are investigating a rapidly spreading outbreak of “Junioritis,” a condition causing severe burnout and apathy among high school juniors.

The Five-and-A-Halfth Floor

Exposé discovering secrets of the five-and-a-halfth floor.

BREAKING NEWS: Stuyvesant H.S. AP Bio Students Linked to Hantavirus Outbreak

AP Bio students catch the hantavirus.

Tesla Cybertruck Officially Announces Bid for 2028 Presidential Election

The Tesla Cybertruck has announced its campaign for the 2028 presidential election as the Whig candidate, nominating famous actor Ryan Gosling as VP.

What School Do Your Habits Say You Belong In?

Discover where your academic burnout would be most at home

My Fox Ate My AP Exam

The College Board has decided to introduce a new section to the AP Zoology exam. What could go wrong?

Dear Future Self…

An apology letter to my future self, listing experiencing minor inconveniences as a result of past actions.

New AP Classes Officially Unveiled

New AP courses have arrived at Stuy, but are they any good?

How to Know That You’re in a Toxic Relationship… With J

This guide helps you identify the warning signs of a toxic relationship in an unexpected place.

How to Know if You’re Choosing the Right APs and Electives (for Freshmen, Sophomores, and Half of a Junior)

A personality test to help choose your APs/Electives, based on unrealistic theoretical events/questions.

Robots In War? The Empirics.

There’s been a lot of hype about AI, but can it really stand up to the pressures of war?

Bridge Troll Gobbles Up Freshmen

The Tribeca Bridge becomes occupied by a freshman-eating troll.

Wealthcraft!

Guy marries rich guy to become rich.

The (Near) Destruction of Mercury

A United Planets emergency meeting has been called to discuss the impending doom of Mercury

When Life Gives You Spring Breaks

Giving highly unrealistic advice to students on what to do over spring break to show that maybe high school isn’t that serious!

Mayor Mamdani Releases New Revolutionary Safety Plan

New York City’s new, cartoonish safety plan to lower crime rates.

The Dark Truth about Harvard University

Harvard University is a dream school for many, but its actual purpose is more alien than anybody could ever imagine.

Why is the 7-9 Escalator Always Broken?!

A question that’s been asked since the dawn of time (start of the school year).

Escalator Breakdowns: Let’s Break it Down

The escalators are frequently found to be broken, but recent events point to internal sabotage.

Hear Me Out… Some Crumbs of Potential SING! Ideas

From a list of dozens of theme ideas generated under the influence of distilled powdered Celsius, we narrowed down the top two.

My Stuyvesant Love Life (Gender Neutral Reader)

Y/N, who is hoping to focus on their studies at school, suddenly meets some guys that might change everything!

Planet Stuy: The Admissions Officer

Join us as we discover the secret lives of the masters of the education system—the admissions officers.

What if Countries Could Talk to Each Other in WWII?

Waffles and World War Two.

Government Bans Humor in Schools

The DOE implements yet another ban, now on… humor?

Pregaming Stuyvesant

A prefreshie visits Stuyvesant for the first time during the Spring Open House—only to find himself amidst a bewildering mix of confusing tests, bizarre assignments, and extraordinary upperclassmen pranks that leaves him questioning reality.

The Truth Behind Phone Confiscation

A totally fake story about a totally real scandal that leaves the Dean’s Office scathed with controversy.

BREAKING NEWS: Chambers Street McDonald’s Tariffs All Local Halal Carts

Here’s what to know about the hottest culinary trade war since MasterChef.

A Compendium of Changes to Lake America

Some strange changes to the fish in Lake America.

Amerification

The latest cultural trend taking the nation by storm.

Have a Laugh, Public Pests Are on Display!

Public punishments for public annoyances recently appeared in Central Park.

The Tissue Wars

The Tissues have declared war on the Humans for “years of snotty abuse.”

Stuyvesant Class of 2030 Acceptance Letter

Dear student, welcome to Stuyvesant. I’m sorry.

Time is a Flat Circle (and My MetroCard is Broken)

What is the meaning of life?

Dear Incoming Class of 2030... We Have Advice!

You made it to Stuyvesant…for better or for worse! Here are a few tips from Stuyvesant-certified students so that you can survive your first year at this exceptionally school-based school.

NYC Parents Upset Because Their Mayor Speaks Better Chinese Than Their Kids

A series of interviews conducted after the release of Mayor Zohran Mamdani’s viral advertisement spoken in Mandarin Chinese reveals that the mayor mogs the younger generation when it comes to fluency in Mandarin.

We the People of the Games Department

Games has just declared independence from Humor. Here’s how it went down.