Volume 116 Issue 5

Humor

Humor Newsbeet Vol. 116 Issue 5

Humor Newsbeet for Vol. 116 Issue 5!

Humor

French Teachers from Elite Stuyvesant High School Caught Red Handed in Louvre Heist—New Fork Toast EXCLUSIVE

New footage shows the beloved French teachers at the scene of the crime.

Humor

The College Essay That Got Me Into Every Ivy

The best personal statement ever (guaranteed admission into any school).

Humor

A Disgustingly Detailed Report on the Origins, Effects, and Impacts of 67

For all the confused teachers or non-chronically online students, we at The Spectator’s Humor Department have formed a definitive guide to any and all of your “6-7” questions.

Humor

Our Top Three Fall Recipes for Stuy Students

The Stuyvesant Spectator is not responsible for any adverse effects of the following recipes.

Humor

Stuy Hires a New AI Teacher

Meet Ms. X, Stuy’s newest and most interesting teacher.

Humor

Who Says That Only Human Ghosts Can Come Back?

The spirits of all creatures happen to come back on Halloween night.

Humor

Open Haunt: A Stuyvesant High Scare

13-year-old Rowena thought an Open House meant cool high school science labs and free snacks. Little did she know that a seemingly innocent visit would turn into endless face-to-face encounters with unexpected greetings from the supernatural at Stuyvesant’s Fall Open House. As the world around her slowly twists into a real-life horror story, Rowena has to face the question that no sane 13-year-old should ever ask themselves—could her dream high school be haunted?

Humor

Horror Movie Football Team

A spooky football squad of horror movie characters and villains.

Humor

Eleven Valid Late Excuses to Gaslight Your Teachers With

What to say when you’re late.

Humor

BREAKING: SLIWA EXPOSED! What is REALLY Under the Beret?

The Spectator’s investigation into Curtis Sliwa’s ratical agenda.

Features

Unplugged and Unscripted: Ms. Mazzurco

English teacher Rosa Mazzurco discusses in an email interview her experience as a teacher, particularly during the rise of Artificial Intelligence.

Humor

Ridiculous Ways to Solve Real Problems

How to solve climate change, war, and world hunger effectively

Humor

Tale of the Shamhna

Too little sleep is bad for your health, but for your life?

Humor

Title: “Invisible No Longer!”: Ghosts Unionize for Safer Haunting Conditions

The undead deserve rights too! Ghosts across the U.S. and Canada strike after centuries of unfair haunting.

Humor

Programming Office Releases New Schedules on Halloween

The programming office has decided to give everyone Halloween-themed schedules!

Humor

The Twelve Stages of Stuy Students

Every September marks a new year at Stuyvesant, and as the year unfolds, the cycle starts again. One piece of advice: brace yourself.

Humor

White House Cracks Down on Trick-or-Treaters in Response to “Offensive Halloween Costumes”

The White House responds to children’s “offensive Halloween costumes.”

Science

Title: Holding Back the Tides: How Lower Manhattan is Handling Flood Resilience

Battery Park City’s new coastal resiliency plan serves as a model for flood barrier engineering in urban environments.

Science

Overwhelming Medical Schools and Healthcare Costs

The costs of both medical schools and healthcare service pose a concerning burden among students and patients respectively, which upon certain perspectives, seems unreasonable.

News

NYC Mayoral Candidates

As the New York City mayoral election on November 4 approaches, The Spectator aims to inform the Stuyvesant community about the leading mayoral candidates and their positions on key issues.

News

Stuyvesant Hosts Second Annual Careers & Future Pathways Fair

The Stuyvesant High School Alumni Association, in conjunction with the Parents’ Association, organized and hosted a career fair for all Stuyvesant students on October 17, featuring over 100 guest speakers from a myriad of backgrounds.

Opinions

Hamilton and the Obama-Era Legacy of Hope

Hamilton reflects the progress and optimism of the Obama era, but its lasting legacy serves as a reminder of how far we’ve drifted from that hope and why we need to reclaim it.

Opinions

What is Our River Worth?

A nuclear technology company from New Jersey is trying to dump over 45,000 gallons of radioactive waste straight into the Hudson River, and if we don’t act now, we won’t be able to stop them.

Opinions

Underneath María Corina Machado’s Nobel Peace Prize Win

Although Machado’s Nobel Peace Prize win is a great historic event, crediting Trump for her achievement is a striking level of irony.

Opinions

Leave Religious Fundamentalism out of the Israel-Palestine Conflict

Letting religious fundamentalists like the staunchly anti-Zionist, ultra-Orthodox Neturei Karta of Brooklyn into geopolitical conversations is dangerous, even if they agree with you.

Sports

Hype vs. Hard Work: How Consistency is Being Overshadowed by Glamour

The 2025 Ballon d’Or ended with Yamal in second place and Raphinha in fifth, displaying how youth stardom is increasingly appreciated more than established veterans.

Sports

The Centennial Season Preview

The New York Rangers enter their centennial season seeking to win the franchise’s fifth Stanley Cup after a summer full of changes.

Sports

Sportsbeat Vol. 116 Issue 5

Sports department's sportsbeat!

Sports

The Clock Is Ticking for the WNBA

A look into the WNBA CBA negotiations between the players and the league.

Sports

The “World’s” Game

The 2026 World Cup risks becoming an event inaccessible for most New Yorkers.

Sports

He Was Averaging 40

James Harden’s career in the making, focusing on his generational run during the 2018-2019 season.

News

Stuyvesant Celebrates Diwali

Stuyvesant hosted a Diwali event for students, staff and families on October 17

News

Newsbeat Vol. 116 Issue 5

Newsbeat fro Vol. 116 Issue 5.

News

Stuyvesant Students Win Honors in 2025 International Astronomy and Astrophysics

Seniors Sophie Zhao, Jackson Hayes, and Emery Yin won honors at the final round of the 2025 International Astronomy and Astrophysics Competition

News

The Price Point Vol. 116 Issue 5

The Price Point for Vol. 116 Issue 5!

News

Worldbeat Vol. 116 Issue 5

Worldbeat for Vol. 116 Issue 5!

Arts and Entertainment

Peacemaker… What a Joke

Although Season Two had great character moments and an interesting premise, the uneven pacing significantly held it back. 11

Arts and Entertainment

BULLS ON PARADE

Music recommendations from the A&E department!

Features

Our Digital Divide

One student reflects on the implications of an increasingly digital society.

Features

Behind the Scenes of Spirit Week

An exploration of how Spirit Week at Stuyvesant brings students together in different ways, highlighting the variety of motivations, participation levels, and collaborative moments that shape the school community.

Science

Waves From the Universe: Scientists Uncover a New Way to Detect Gravitational Waves

A novel way to locate gravitational waves could allow scientists to uncover new cosmic events.

Humor

Humor Newsbeet Vol. 116 Issue 5

Humor Newsbeet for Vol. 116 Issue 5!

Humor

French Teachers from Elite Stuyvesant High School Caught Red Handed in Louvre Heist—New Fork Toast EXCLUSIVE

New footage shows the beloved French teachers at the scene of the crime.

Humor

The College Essay That Got Me Into Every Ivy

The best personal statement ever (guaranteed admission into any school).

Humor

A Disgustingly Detailed Report on the Origins, Effects, and Impacts of 67

For all the confused teachers or non-chronically online students, we at The Spectator’s Humor Department have formed a definitive guide to any and all of your “6-7” questions.

Humor

Our Top Three Fall Recipes for Stuy Students

The Stuyvesant Spectator is not responsible for any adverse effects of the following recipes.

Humor

Stuy Hires a New AI Teacher

Meet Ms. X, Stuy’s newest and most interesting teacher.

Humor

Who Says That Only Human Ghosts Can Come Back?

The spirits of all creatures happen to come back on Halloween night.

Humor

Open Haunt: A Stuyvesant High Scare

13-year-old Rowena thought an Open House meant cool high school science labs and free snacks. Little did she know that a seemingly innocent visit would turn into endless face-to-face encounters with unexpected greetings from the supernatural at Stuyvesant’s Fall Open House. As the world around her slowly twists into a real-life horror story, Rowena has to face the question that no sane 13-year-old should ever ask themselves—could her dream high school be haunted?

Humor

Horror Movie Football Team

A spooky football squad of horror movie characters and villains.

Humor

Eleven Valid Late Excuses to Gaslight Your Teachers With

What to say when you’re late.

Humor

BREAKING: SLIWA EXPOSED! What is REALLY Under the Beret?

The Spectator’s investigation into Curtis Sliwa’s ratical agenda.

Features

Unplugged and Unscripted: Ms. Mazzurco

English teacher Rosa Mazzurco discusses in an email interview her experience as a teacher, particularly during the rise of Artificial Intelligence.

Humor

Ridiculous Ways to Solve Real Problems

How to solve climate change, war, and world hunger effectively

Humor

Tale of the Shamhna

Too little sleep is bad for your health, but for your life?

Humor

Title: “Invisible No Longer!”: Ghosts Unionize for Safer Haunting Conditions

The undead deserve rights too! Ghosts across the U.S. and Canada strike after centuries of unfair haunting.

Humor

Programming Office Releases New Schedules on Halloween

The programming office has decided to give everyone Halloween-themed schedules!

Humor

The Twelve Stages of Stuy Students

Every September marks a new year at Stuyvesant, and as the year unfolds, the cycle starts again. One piece of advice: brace yourself.

Humor

White House Cracks Down on Trick-or-Treaters in Response to “Offensive Halloween Costumes”

The White House responds to children’s “offensive Halloween costumes.”

Science

Title: Holding Back the Tides: How Lower Manhattan is Handling Flood Resilience

Battery Park City’s new coastal resiliency plan serves as a model for flood barrier engineering in urban environments.

Science

Overwhelming Medical Schools and Healthcare Costs

The costs of both medical schools and healthcare service pose a concerning burden among students and patients respectively, which upon certain perspectives, seems unreasonable.

News

NYC Mayoral Candidates

As the New York City mayoral election on November 4 approaches, The Spectator aims to inform the Stuyvesant community about the leading mayoral candidates and their positions on key issues.

News

Stuyvesant Hosts Second Annual Careers & Future Pathways Fair

The Stuyvesant High School Alumni Association, in conjunction with the Parents’ Association, organized and hosted a career fair for all Stuyvesant students on October 17, featuring over 100 guest speakers from a myriad of backgrounds.

Opinions

Hamilton and the Obama-Era Legacy of Hope

Hamilton reflects the progress and optimism of the Obama era, but its lasting legacy serves as a reminder of how far we’ve drifted from that hope and why we need to reclaim it.

Opinions

What is Our River Worth?

A nuclear technology company from New Jersey is trying to dump over 45,000 gallons of radioactive waste straight into the Hudson River, and if we don’t act now, we won’t be able to stop them.

Opinions

Underneath María Corina Machado’s Nobel Peace Prize Win

Although Machado’s Nobel Peace Prize win is a great historic event, crediting Trump for her achievement is a striking level of irony.

Opinions

Leave Religious Fundamentalism out of the Israel-Palestine Conflict

Letting religious fundamentalists like the staunchly anti-Zionist, ultra-Orthodox Neturei Karta of Brooklyn into geopolitical conversations is dangerous, even if they agree with you.

Sports

Hype vs. Hard Work: How Consistency is Being Overshadowed by Glamour

The 2025 Ballon d’Or ended with Yamal in second place and Raphinha in fifth, displaying how youth stardom is increasingly appreciated more than established veterans.

Sports

The Centennial Season Preview

The New York Rangers enter their centennial season seeking to win the franchise’s fifth Stanley Cup after a summer full of changes.

Sports

Sportsbeat Vol. 116 Issue 5

Sports department's sportsbeat!

Sports

The Clock Is Ticking for the WNBA

A look into the WNBA CBA negotiations between the players and the league.

Sports

The “World’s” Game

The 2026 World Cup risks becoming an event inaccessible for most New Yorkers.

Sports

He Was Averaging 40

James Harden’s career in the making, focusing on his generational run during the 2018-2019 season.

Opinions

From Mountain Pass to Monopoly

National security starts on the ground. America must restore rare earth element independence.

News

Stuyvesant Celebrates Diwali

Stuyvesant hosted a Diwali event for students, staff and families on October 17

News

Newsbeat Vol. 116 Issue 5

Newsbeat fro Vol. 116 Issue 5.

News

Stuyvesant Students Win Honors in 2025 International Astronomy and Astrophysics

Seniors Sophie Zhao, Jackson Hayes, and Emery Yin won honors at the final round of the 2025 International Astronomy and Astrophysics Competition

News

The Price Point Vol. 116 Issue 5

The Price Point for Vol. 116 Issue 5!

News

Worldbeat Vol. 116 Issue 5

Worldbeat for Vol. 116 Issue 5!

Arts and Entertainment

Peacemaker… What a Joke

Although Season Two had great character moments and an interesting premise, the uneven pacing significantly held it back. 11

Arts and Entertainment

BULLS ON PARADE

Music recommendations from the A&E department!

Features

Our Digital Divide

One student reflects on the implications of an increasingly digital society.

Features

Behind the Scenes of Spirit Week

An exploration of how Spirit Week at Stuyvesant brings students together in different ways, highlighting the variety of motivations, participation levels, and collaborative moments that shape the school community.